The Professor`s Song

<br>To &quot;If You Give Me Your Attention.&quot; <br>If you give me your attention, I will tell you what I am.<br>I`m a brilliant math`matician - also something of a ham.<br>I have tried for numerous degrees, in fact I`ve one of each;<br>Of course that makes me eminently qualified to teach.<br>I understand the subject matter thoroughly, it`s true,<br>And I can`t see why it isn`t all as obvious to you.<br>Each lecture is a masterpiece, meticulously planned,<br>Yet everybody tells me that I`m hard to understand,<br>And I can`t think why.<br><br>My diagrams are models of true art, you must agree,<br>And my handwriting is famous for its legibility.<br>Take a word like &quot;minimum&quot; (to choose a random word),<br>This was performed at a blackboard, and the professor wrote:<br>////////////////<br>For anyone to say he cannot read that, is absurd.<br>The anecdotes I tell get more amusing every year,<br>Though frankly, what they go to prove is sometimes less than clear,<br>And all my explanations are quite lucid, I am sure,<br>Yet everybody tells me that my lectures are obscure,<br>And I can`t think why.<br><br>Consider, for example, just the force of gravity:<br>It`s inversely proportional to something - let me see -<br>It`s r^3 - no, r^2 - no, it`s just r, I`ll bet -<br>The sign in front is plus - or is it minus, I forget -<br>Well, anyway, there is a force, of that there is no doubt.<br>All these formulas are trivial if you only think them out.<br>Yet students tell me, &quot;I have memorized the whole year through<br>Ev`rything you`ve told us, but the problems I can`t do.&quot;<br>And I can`t think why!