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Tom Lehrer

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We Will All Go Together when We Go

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I am reminded at this point of a fellow I used to know whos name was henry, only to give you an idea of what an individualist he was he spelt it hen3ry. the 3 was silent, you see. henry was fin

Lly independent having inherited his fathers tar-and-feather business and was therefore able to devote his full time to such intellectual pursuits as writing. I particularly remember a heart-wa

Novel of his about a young necropheliac who finally achieved his boy-hood ambition by becoming coroner.

<moderate laughter>

The rest of you can look it up when you get home. in addition to writing he indulged in a good deal of philosophizing. like so many contemporary philosophers he especially enjoyed giving helpful

Ce to people who were happier than he was. one particular bit of advice which I recall, which is the reason I bring up this whole, dreary story is something he said once before they took him awa

The massachussetts state home for the bewilderd. he said: "life is like a sewer: what you get out of it depends on what you put into it." its always seems to me that this is precisely

Sort of dynamic, positive thinking that we so desperately need in these trying times of crisis and universal broo-ha-ha, and so with this in mind I have here a modern positive dynamic uplifting

In the tradition of the great old revival hymns. this one might more accurately be termed a survival hymn.

When you attend a funeral,

It is sad to think that sooner or

Later those you love will do the same for you.

And you may have thought it tragic,

Not to mention other adjec-

Tives, to think of all the weeping they will do.

But dont you worry.

No more ashes, no more sackcloth.

And an armband made of black cloth

Will some day never more adorn a sleeve.

For if the bomb that drops on you

Gets your friends and neighbors too,

Therell be nobody left behind to grieve.

And we will all go together when we go.

What a comforting fact that is to know.

Universal bereavement,

An inspiring achievement,

Yes, we all will go together when we go.

We will all go together when we go.

All suffuse with an incandescent glow.

No one will have the endurance

To collect on his insurance,

Lloyds of london will be loaded when they go.

Oh we will all fry together when we fry.

Well be french fried potatoes by and by.

There will be no more misery

When the world is our rotisserie,

Yes, we will all fry together when we fry.

Down by the old maelstrom,

Therell be a storm before the calm.

And we will all bake together when we bake.

Therell be nobody present at the wake.

With complete participation

In that grand incineration,

Nearly three billion hunks of well-done steak.

Oh we will all char together when we char.

And let there be no moaning of the bar.

Just sing out a te deum

When you see that i.c.b.m.,

And the party will be "come as you are."

Oh we will all burn together when we burn.

Therell be no need to stand and wait your turn.

When its time for the fallout

And saint peter calls us all out,

Well just drop our agendas and adjourn.

You will all go directly to your respective valhallas.

Go directly, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollas.

And we will all go together when we go.

Evry hottenhot and evry eskimo.

When the air becomes uranious,

And we will all go simultaneous.

Yes we all will go together

When we all go together,

Yes we all will go together when we go.

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