Jerry Springer

<br>It`s been one week since we got to see <br>Cheatin` lovers and cousins that marry <br>Five days since they had the show <br>With the hermaphrodite, the slut and the crack ho <br>Three days since we heard the tale <br>About the guy who learned his woman was a she-male <br>Yesterday it occurred to me <br>That I`ve been watchin` a bit too much Jerry Springer <br><br>Holy cow, d`you see it last week? <br>Well, they had this one freak <br>Who sucker-punched his whole family <br>Do you recall when the brawl <br>Became a total free-for-all? <br>And Jerry`s in the middle tryin` to be the referee <br>Hey, see the stripper with the implants? <br>She likes to lap dance <br>And date the boyfriend of her mother <br>Now here comes Jerry`s next guest <br>And it`s a slugfest <br>`Cause it`s her trailer trash brother <br>Nymphomaniac is back on crack <br>It`s like "When Animals Attack" <br>They all exhibit reprehensible behavior <br>Hit `em in the nose, tear off their clothes <br>Step on their toes, that`s how it goes <br>They get so violent they have to sign a waiver <br><br>They`re always swearin`, cursin`, kickin` butt and pointin` blame <br>On the air? They don`t care, they`ve got no shame <br>There was one guy who I`m sure felt a little strange <br>When he found out that his wife had a sex change <br>They have a tendency to scream and yell constantly <br>They have a history of ripping off their shirts <br><br>It`s been one week since they had the fight <br>With the Siamese twins and the transvestite <br>Five days since that awful brawl <br>They still haven`t got the blood off the wall <br>It`s been three days since the bitter feud <br>Between the KKK and that gay Jewish black dude <br>Yesterday, finally dawned on me <br>I`m spendin` way too much time on that Jerry Springer <br><br>male Springer guest: Baby, I`ve been sleepin` with your sister. <br>female Springer guest: Oh, which one? <br>male Springer guest: All of `em. <br>female Springer guest: Ah, well, I`ve been sleepin` with your best friend Jake. <br>male Springer guest: Yeah? W-Well, me too! And, I`ve been sleepin` with your dog Woofie! <br>female Springer guest: Woofie, you bitch! Well I`m also sleepin` with your pet goat! <br>male Springer guest: That goat doesn`t love you! <br><br>Once you start watchin`, there`s just no stoppin` <br>Your brain shuts down, then your IQ`s droppin` <br>Jerry`s the king of confrontation <br>He`s a sensation <br>He puts the `sin` in syndication <br>It`s totally worthless, like a bad check <br>It`s like a train wreck <br>Don`t wanna stare, but you can`t look away <br>Like Sally Jesse he does talk shows <br>But with more weirdos <br>The ratings jumpin` higher every day <br>If you`ve seen the show, well then you know <br>It`s just as low as you can go <br>The guests are tacky and they`re lacking in their hygiene <br>And pretty soon some ugly goon <br>Comes in the room and then it`s BOOM <br>In the face of some unsuspecting drag queen <br><br>Well, it`s the kind of show where people scream obscenities <br>Yankin` hair, throwin` chairs at their hubbies <br>"Jerry! Jerry!" Now the crowd starts their favorite chant <br>Should I turn off my TV? I just can`t <br>I have a tendency to watch it religiously <br>I have a history of taping each one <br><br>It`s been one week since the show about <br>Psycho killers with problems they should work out <br>Five days since the big surprise <br>When some loser`s wife said that she`s still dating twenty guys <br>Three days since he interviewed <br>A bunch of psychic porn star midgets who were all nude <br>Yesterday, it occurred to me <br>That I`ve been watchin` a bit too much Jerry Springer <br>Tired of wastin` my time on that Jerry Springer <br>I`ve got way too much class to watch Jerry Springer <br>Come over here and pull on my finger