Family Functions

<br>Now that you are my most special one,<br>And you know we`ve already gone to the prom,<br>Won`t you come with me to family functions?<br>Won`t you be the one that I`ve got on my arm?<br>It`s not every boy who brings me broken arrows.<br>It`s not every boy who brings me bottled rain.<br>Won`t you come with me to family functions?<br>You will see then that I`m not really to blame.<br>Grandpa Earl runs his own kosher fish store,<br>Uncle Max was in the Mob.<br>Cousin Lester married a shiksa,<br>Crazy Aunt Ingas can`t find a job.<br>Ingas, oh pingas, you`re my favorite.<br>Great Grandpa Joey choked on a prune.<br>Cute little Bunny, all in her party dress.<br>?? Uncle Tony, she`s a bride in June.<br>"He`s a nice Jewish boy," they will say,<br>But the truth is that I knew it all along.<br>Won`t you come with me to family functions?<br>You had better, `cause I wrote you this damn song.