Folksong Gig From Hell

Folksong Gig from Hell or, We Only Do it for the Money (Bob Clayton) We were with a singer friend, driving north a few short miles, To see him do an opening act, and that just made us smile; With rising expectations, we were headed out of town, When right there in the high-speed lane the poor old van broke down. cho: It`s a long way to sing a folksong, It`s a long way to go. It`s a long way to sing a folksong, Through the icy wind and snow. Good-bye to ease and comfort And hello toil and woe! It`s a long, long way to sing a folksong But you know that we`d all go. We got onto the shoulder of the lane divider there With rush-hour traffic on both sides in the chilly winter air. The van was rocking every time a truck came bruising past And I thought, "We`ve really done it now, this trip may be our last." We fiddled with the wire and clamps and all that other stuff, But the engine never caught again, it didn`t have enough. It looked just like the coil had blown, although it was brand-new And we began to think for us the evening`s fun was through. So then we all got bundled up and gave up on the ride, Crossed three lanes of traffic and climbed a steep hillside; Found a phone at a station there, and called a tow-truck fast Then called the club where our friend`s first gig looked like to be his last. Surprise, surprise! the club said, "Wait, we`ll send a car for you! We promised you a chance to sing, it`s the least that we can do." So, to make a longish story short, we all got to the club Some sooner, and some later, and that`s, of course, the rub. You see, someone had to go and get our cars, way back in town And the two of us who did so can remember with a frown. We wasted time, spent money, never ate and ---here`s the thing Missed our friend`s guest set, and never got to hear him sing. Now we get down to the case, the nub, the camel`s straw. We didn`t miss the headline act, and that`s the final flaw. Amateur, uninteresting, and out-of-tune as well And we had to sit and listen in this folksong gig from Hell. tune: It`s a Long Way to Tipperary