These Are the Tales

[Too $hort]<br>These are the tales<br>These are the tales that I tell so well<br>(tune in to the history channel)<br>These are the tales (learn a lesson biatch)<br>these are the tales that I tell so well (Short Dog)<br>I`m thinkin` way back, it`s been a long long time<br>In 1980 I wrote my first rhyme<br>I like to spit a lot of game<br>but back then, I was just sayin` my name<br>I had a record player, on my stereo<br>Got down on my knees with my radio<br>From Oakland California with some new shit<br>I`m Sir Too $hort I`m bout to do this<br>In 1981, that`s where it all begun<br>We do it for the money we don`t rap for fun<br>Five dolla`s fo` a tape, Too $hort and Freddy B<br>Money in my pocket`s all I ever need<br>It was me, Fred B, and Freddy Brack <br>Dipped the sermon sticks then we smoked them phat<br>While we rapped about the bitches and all the ho`s <br>Can`t be in the hole tryin` to ball without vogues<br>In `82 you was in the game<br>with a Falcon, Cougar or a Mustang<br>Me and Freddy B used to hit the turfs<br>with a bag of tapes puttin in work, Biatch<br>In `83 you hit a house party<br>a dolla` get you in and a dolla` fo` a drink<br>I`m on the turntable smokin` get-right<br>and at mid-night I`ll be rappin` on the mic<br>I did the same thang, for the next two years<br>That`s why they say my name, when I come through here<br>When I was 16, I want`d to be a mack<br>I went to Fremont High with Lil` D and Black<br>Young ballers in the town livin` real phat<br>Never had the sack but I smoked a little crack<br>Crushed up in the weed, we call em bass rock Caddies<br>Goin` on them grimmies make them ho`s call me daddy<br><br>[Hook] <br>These are the tales, these are the tales that I tell so well<br>These are the tales, these are the tales that I tell so well<br><br>[Too $hort]<br>It`s been 15 years since that shit happened<br>But Too $hort don`t stop rappin`<br>In `85, I was on the right page<br>Ten thousand niggaz, $hort live on stage<br>Underground tapes was all they ever heard<br>but the whole crowd sang along with me word for word<br>And that changed everything<br>Went to Seventy Five Girls and hooked up with Dean<br>Real player-ism and that`s no joke<br>Snort a lot of coke with ho`s that like to smoke<br>I was makin` records but wasn`t makin` money<br>you can take it seriously or you can think its funny<br>By `87, I was on my own, started Dangerous Music<br>and I made the song "These are the tales, the freaky tales"<br>No radio or video or CD sales<br>Six platinums in a row Ice Cube and Cool J<br>Who else did that shit? $hort Dog from the Bay<br>These ho`s try to play it safe<br>but I been mackin` hard since eighty-eight<br>And from eighty-nine to ninety-six<br>I was rappin` on the mic talkin` shit about a bitch<br>I`ll retire 10 times and I`ll still be here<br>My old records sell about a half a mil` a year<br>I say "bitch get naked" so pimpishly<br>spit rhymes through decades and centuries<br>And bitches just love my dirty mouth<br>when I see you again I`ma cuss you out, BIATCH!<br>That`s my gift, now all you rappers get to say that shit<br>I wont sue you, but that`s the trademark<br>I was a grown ass man when you was playin` in the park lil` nigga<br><br>[Hook]<br><br>[Too $hort]<br>Now I`m in Atlanta I still love the O<br>I gave you my bitch but you can`t have my flow<br>I guest appeared on 47 albums<br>Fuck McDonalds and fuck Calvin<br>I get money with Erick Sermon when I`m in New York<br>I get respect, they call me Too $hort<br>I live swell in A.T.L. cause I`m a player<br>We fuckin` hella ho`s at X House in Decatur where it`s greater<br>You know how we ride<br>I got love for all niggaz from the EastSide<br>It was me, Ant Banks and Shorty B<br>All we need to do is find my nigga PeeWee<br>We used to be on Murdel Street makin` funky songs<br>if you see him tell him Short said its back on<br>Lets get this money, midwest down South<br>East coast West coast ride out, BIATCH<br><br>[Too $hort talking over Hook]<br>That`s my gift to rap, you can have that word<br>Say bitch all you want, all you regular fake ass niggas<br>You finally get to have Too $hort`s bitch, trick<br><br>[Hook]