The Real Slim Shady

May I have your attention please?<br>May I have your attention please?<br>Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?<br>I repeat will the real Slim Shady please stand up?<br>We`re going to have a problem here<br>c<br>(Verse 1)<br>Ya`ll act like you never seen a white person before<br>jaws all on the floor like Pam like Tommy just burst in the door<br>started whoopin her ass worse than before<br>they first get divorced throwing her over furniture (scream)<br>It`s the return of the<br>"Oh wait, no way, your kidding, he didn`t just say what I think he did, did<br>he?"<br>And Dr Dre said<br>....Nothing you idiots Dr Dre`s dead, he`s locked in my basement (haha)<br>Feminist women love Eminem<br>Chicka chicka chicka Slim Shady I`m sick of him<br>look at him, walking around grabbing his you know what<br>Flipin` the you know who "yeah, but hes so cute though"<br>Yea I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose<br>but no worse than what`s going on in your parent`s bedrooms<br>Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose,<br>but can`t, but its cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose<br>my bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips<br>and if I`m lucky you might just give it a little kiss<br>and that`s the message that we deliver to little kids<br>and expect them not to know what a womens clitoris is.<br>Of course they gonna know what intercourse is<br>by the time they hit 4th grade,<br>they got the discovery channel don`t they?<br>We ain`t nothing but mammals; well some of us cannibals<br>who cut other people open like cantaloupes.<br>But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes<br>then there`s no reason that a man and another man can`t elope<br>But if you feel like I feel I got the antidote.<br>Women wave your panty hoes, sing the chorus and it goes...<br>(Chorus)<br>I`m Slim Shady<br>Yes I`m the real Shady<br>All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating<br>So won`t the real Slim Shady...<br>Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up<br>becuase I`m Slim Shady<br>Yes I`m the real Shady<br>All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating<br>So won`t the real Slim shady...<br>Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up<br>(Verse 2)<br>Will Smith don`t gotta cuss in his raps to sell records<br>Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too.<br>You think I give a damm about a Grammy?<br>Half of you critics can`t even stomach me, let alone stand me.<br>"But Slim what if u win wouldn`t it be weird?"<br>Why? So you guys can just lie to get me here?<br>So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears.<br>Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs<br>So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst<br>And hear `em argue over who she gave head to first.<br>Little bitch put me on blast on MTV<br>"yeah he`s cute but I think he`s married to Kim, hehe"<br>I should download her audio on mp3<br>And show the whole world how you gave Eminem V.D. (scream)<br>I`m sick of you little girl and boy groups all you do is annoy me<br>So I`ve been sent here to destroy you<br>And theres a million of us just like me<br>Who cuss like me<br>Who just don`t give a fuck like me<br>Who dress like me<br>Walk, talk and act like me<br>It just might be the next best thing<br>But not quite me<br>(chorus)<br>(Verse 3)<br>I`m like a headtrip to listen to<br>Cause I`m only giving you<br>things you joke about with your friends inside your living room<br>The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of ya`ll<br>And I don`t gotta be false or sugar coated at all<br>I just get on the mic and spit it<br>And whether you like to admit it (rip)<br>I just shit it better than 90% of you rappers out there<br>Then you wonder how can kidz eat up these albums like valiums.<br>Its funny cuz at the rate im going when I`m 30<br>Ill be the only person in the nursing home flirting.<br>Pinching nurses asses when I`m jackin` off with Jergens and I`m jerking<br>But this whole bag of viagra isn`t working<br>And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin`<br>He could be workin at Burger King spitten on your onion rings<br>Or in the parking lot circling<br>screaming I don`t give a fuck<br>With his windows down and system up<br>So will the real Shady, please stand up<br>and put one of those fingures on each hand up<br>and to be proud to be outta your mind and outta control<br>and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?<br>(chorus)