Adelaides Lament

<br>(spoken) it says here in this book...<br><br>The average unmarried female<br><br>Basically insecure<br><br>Due to some long frustration<br><br>May react<br><br>With psychosomatic symptoms<br><br>Difficult to endure<br><br>Affecting the upper respiratory tract<br><br>In other words,<br><br>Just from waiting around<br><br>For that plain little band of gold<br><br>A person can develop a cold<br><br>You can spray her wherever you figure<br><br>The streptococci lurk<br><br>You can give her a shot<br><br>For whatever shes got<br><br>But it just wont work<br><br>If shes tired of getting the fish-eye<br><br>From the hotel clerk<br><br>A person<br><br>Can develop a cold<br><br>(spoken) it says here...<br><br>The female remaining single<br><br>Just in the legal sense<br><br>Shows a neurotic tendency<br><br>(spoken) see note...see note<br><br>Note: chronic organic syndromes<br><br>Toxic or hypertense<br><br>Involving the eye,<br><br>The ear, the nose and throat<br><br>In other words,<br><br>Just from wondering<br><br>Whether the wedding is on or off,<br><br>A person<br><br>Can develop a cough<br><br>You can feed her all day<br><br>With the vitamin a<br><br>And the bromo fizz<br><br>But the medicine never<br><br>Gets anywhere near<br><br>Where the trouble is<br><br>If shes getting a kind<br><br>Of name for herself<br><br>And the name aint &quot;his&quot;<br><br>A person<br><br>Can develop a cough<br><br>And further more<br><br>Just from stalling<br><br>And stalling and stalling<br><br>The wedding trip<br><br>A person<br><br>Can develop la grippe<br><br>When they get on a train<br><br>For niagra<br><br>And she can hear church bells chime<br><br>The compartment is air conditioned<br><br>And the mood sublime<br><br>Then they get off at saratoga<br><br>For the fourteenth time<br><br>A person<br><br>Can develop la grippe<br><br>La grippe, la post nasal drip<br><br>With the wheezes<br><br>And the sneezes<br><br>And a sinus thats really a pip!<br><br>From a lack of community property<br><br>And a feeling shes getting too old<br><br>A person<br><br>Can develop<br><br>A big, bad cold!