Nobody Makes a Pass at Me

<br>Performed by barbra streisand<br><br><br><br>I want men that I can squeeze, that I can please, that I can tease<br><br>Two or three or four or more!<br><br>What are those fools waiting for? <br><br>I want love and I want kissing I want more of what Im missing<br><br><br><br>Nobody comes knocking at my front door<br><br>What do they think my knockers for? <br><br>If they dont come soon there wont be any more!<br><br>What can the matter be? <br><br><br><br>I wash my clothes with lux, my etiquettes the best,<br><br>I spend my hard-earned bucks on just what the ads suggest<br><br>Oh dear what can the matter be<br><br>Nobody makes a pass at me!<br><br><br><br>Im full of kelloggs bran, eat grapenuts on the sly,<br><br>A date is on the can of coffee that I buy<br><br>Oh dear, what can the matter be? <br><br>Nobody makes a pass at me!<br><br><br><br>Oh beatrice fair-fax, give me the bare facts,<br><br>How do you make them fall? <br><br>If you dont save me, the things the lord gave me<br><br>Never will be any use to me at all.<br><br><br><br>I sprinkle on a dash of &quot;fragrance de amour,&quot;<br><br>The ads say &quot;makes men rash&quot; but I guess their smell is pour<br><br>Oh dear what can the matter be<br><br>Nobody makes a pass at me.<br><br><br><br>I use ovaltine and listerine, barbasol and musterole<br><br>Life buoy soap and flit, so why aint I got it? <br><br><br><br>I use coca cola and marmola, crisco, lesco and mazola,<br><br>Ex-lax and vapex, so why aint I got sex? <br><br><br><br>I use albolene and maybellene, alka seltzer, bromo seltzer,<br><br>Odorono and sensation<br><br>So why aint I got fascination? <br><br><br><br>My girdles come from the best, times ads say theyre chick<br><br>And up above Im dressed in the brassier of the week<br><br>Oh dear, what can the matter be? <br><br>Nobody makes a pass at me!<br><br><br><br>I use ponds on my skin, with rye-crisp I have thinned<br><br>I get my culture in I began &quot;gone with the wind&quot;<br><br>Oh dear, what can the matter be? <br><br>Nobody makes a pass at me!<br><br><br><br>Oh dorthy dix, please, show me some tricks,<br><br>Please, I want some men to hold<br><br>I want attention and things I cant mention<br><br>And I want them all before I get too old<br><br><br><br>I use mum evry day and angelus liplure,<br><br>But still men stay away just like ivry soap Im pure<br><br>Just like I result of 99 and 44<br><br>One hundred percent p.o.<br><br>Oh dear what can the matter be? <br><br>Nobody makes a pass at me