If I Owned a Midget

(intro)<br>I picked up this midget you know he`s very very well dressed<br>Italian suit good looking with a beautiful tall blond<br>Is it a- a lady midget<br>No the guy was a midget the blond was a lady<br>Oh the- I get it<br>Those midgets are funny hahaha Sometimes I`d like to hold a midget<br>I mean they`re funny<br>They always wanna sit in the front seat- Word<br><br>(verse 1)<br>Life`s got me mad<br>But if I had a midget I`d be glad<br>To watch him jump around on my nintendo powerpad<br>He`d have a big head short legs and long torso<br>The name that I give my pet midget is little Gordo<br>I`d teach him tricks like backflips and side kicks<br>When company came over he`d perform and get tips<br>While I`m eatin at night, in the kitchen he`d be able<br>To get the food scraps that I threw under the table<br>If my midget was ever mad and acted enraged<br>Then I`d take him to the bathroom and put him in his cage<br>But If he kept acting up and really made me sick<br>I`d hang him upside down and poke him with a stick<br>Little Gordo would be good most of the time though<br>He`d like to wear a helmet and run around yelling Kaiyo<br>I`d take him for walks in the park on the weekends<br>And if he saw other midgets he`d say Can we be friends<br>He`d only need a 3 foot coffin when he was dead<br>And he`d be in the guiness book for the world`s biggest head<br>What a funny little fellow, but don`t call him a shrimp<br>Or he`ll attack your leg cause Gordos a tough gimp<br>He`d have a pogo ball that he`d bounce on for hours<br>And dirty little fathead Gordo would`nt take showers<br>When Halloween came, he wouldn`t be a chump<br>Gettin all the candy goin round as a tree stump<br><br>(scratching/chorus)<br>Midget is a midget<br>Midget Mi-Mi-Mi-Mi-Midget<br>Midget is a midget<br>Hey you guys- Word<br>Midget is a midget<br>Midget Mi-Mi-Mi-Mi-Midget<br>Midget (wo-wo-wo-wo-word) is a midget<br>Like a midget in a urinal, I was gonna have to stay on my toes<br><br>(verse 2)<br>Sometimes my friends would chase Gordo with a gun<br>It be fun<br>Because midgets wobble when they run<br>They`re so close to the ground and so easy to kick<br>They`re so slow in the head and so easy to trick<br>Gordo could do somersaults his special thing<br>At the fair I would make him enter mudwrestling<br>Sometimes he`d wear stilts and pretend to be tall<br>Then I`d kick him over- and then i`d laugh at him fall<br>Silly little Gordo, just be yourself<br>I`d put wood on his head, and he`d just be a shelf<br>He`d do funny little dances but that`s irrelevant<br>At the beach Gordo got attacked by pelicans<br>He had a girlfriend once, but she was an ogre<br>It didn`t last long cause he couldn`t fuck her sober<br>Gordo had a problem, Gordo wet the bed<br>so i`d make him wear diapers on his ass and his head<br>He`d have to clean up his own cage himself<br>And if he lost a little weight he`d be a keebler elf<br>He`d really be something, my mangled little munchkin<br>Plus his head would be larger then any big pumpkin<br>This perfect little fool would make a perfect footstool<br>Sometimes I`d kick him in his head and say "bitch be cool"<br>I`d have a great life, I`d be happy I know<br>If I only owned a little pet midget named Gordo<br>(scratching/chorus)