The Spicy McHaggis Jig

<br>I`ll tell you a story, believe me it`s true a tale you`d best hope never happens to you old spicy mcHaggis,<br>how he met his fate you I can save, but for him it`s too late<br><br>Spicy was big, burly and strong his pipes were gigantic,<br>and so was his schlong from city to city running around looking for chicks over four hundred pounds<br><br>One night at the pub a girl caught his eye big as a house,<br>just the right size the broad was enormous,<br>stacked to the hilt spicy soon noticed a bulge in his kilt the piper delivered his best pick-up line thought to himself,<br>&quot;this beast is all mine&quot; the portly young lady could stand for no more grabbed his cojones and went for the door<br><br>They got to her house and dimmed all the lights Spicy was in for one hell of a night he said that he loved her,<br>he`d always be true &quot;But Mr. McHaggis, I`ve only just met you!!&quot;<br><br>By now he saw double through his drunken eyes neither had looks or appropriate size he came to his sense,<br>thought to himself, &quot;At this time of night I won`t find nothing else&quot; he took off his shirt,<br>she lifted her skirt, they pulled out his unit and stared to play she asked for a glove,<br>he gave her a shove, had baby McHaggis nine months to-the-day.<br><br>Three packs a day, he`ll smoke `til he dies Spicy McHaggis, one hell of a guy!