Three Point One Four

<br>My last girlfriend didn`t like me thought she might be<br>Most likely a dyke she just didn`t excite me<br>Lefty? Yeah but that was alright<br>She was hotter than the sun but she just wasn`t that bright<br>My mistake she was more flaky than a leper colony<br>I think a wooden clothespin would have been much better company<br>Ass like a donkey acting funky gave her "L" now she`s a flunky<br>So my love for her died quicker than a batch of Sea Monkeys<br>Early bird gets the worm spread your legs or spread the word<br>So what if I`m not the smartest peanut in the turd<br>I`m white which goes with everything but I can come in any color<br>And I`m looking for the kind of girl that reminds me of my mother<br>But it`s hard to find a girl with a viper tattooed on her tushy<br>And how many girls do you know that can play the harmonica with their pussies?<br>Like em` easy and hot and sweet like a Rice Krispie Treat, gee<br>You know what I really want in a girl? Me<br><br>I need to find a new vagina<br>Any kind of new vagina<br>It`s hard to rhyme a word like vagina<br>Calvin Klein? Kind of North Carolina<br><br>Women are like dog, doo, hear me through don`t interrupt<br>It`s just the older that they are the easier they get to pick-up<br>I`d fill the generation gap clean the cobwebs from her rafters<br>Old hens would rather put out than be put out to the pasture<br>No age just ain`t a gauge I like my girls like my cheese<br>Preferably for me fat-free American singles only<br>I want my next chick anorexic, the winner is the thinner<br>Won`t have to take her skinny ass out to a fancy dinner<br>Like Sizzler she got a beef we`ll chew the fat<br>If I forget to put the seat up I can put up with her crap<br>Let her lash out and crack the whip but not in bed I don`t play rough<br>No I can`t be tied down with a girl that wants me tied up<br>Just independent like NOFX ,smart like Janeane Garafolo<br>She`d use big words to make fun of me so that I would never know<br>Bestow upon me all her wisdom of the Dewey Decimal System, gee<br>You know what I really want in a girl? Me<br><br>I need to find a new vagina<br>Any kind of new vagina<br>It`s hard to rhyme a word like vagina<br>Kevin Klein? Kind of South Carolina<br><br>Vagina vagina vagina vagina<br>Vagina vagina vagina vagina