Big `N Round Girl

{*a parody of LL Cool J`s song "Around the Way Girl"*}<br><br>I want a girl with gravitational pull<br>Big as a cow, but not mean as a bull<br>A couple chins and a big behind<br>That`s what I need to make the girlie all mine<br>She can waddle down the street talk with her mouth full<br>I love it when the woman spits food on the floor<br>Standing at the bus stop inhaling a lollipop<br>One she starts eating you can`t make the hottie stop<br>She likes to dance to the rap song<br>But she always breaks the floor `cause her legs are too strong<br>Prune wrinkled complexion, sits around the town<br>Let`s hear it for the girl she`s big and round<br><br>[chorus]<br>I need a big `n round girl<br>That`s the one for me<br>I need a big `n round girl<br><br>Dusted, rusted, her smile`s like a skeleton`s<br>That`s why I had to dedicate this one<br>To all the cuties grazing in my back yard<br>If I didn`t feed you then you`d probably starve<br>You eat all my sugar straight out of the jar<br>Gonna panic if I see you getting into my car<br>Boy you`re fat, but at least you got nice looking hair<br>Even your cat is as big as a bean bag chair<br>You can break chairs and manipulate food<br>Or drink Welches then belch and act totally rude<br>You always know where the food can be found<br>Cold flip when you find a new diner in town<br>Not cheap or petty, just constantly hungry<br>You shower once a month so you smell real funky<br>But if you ever wanna fit in this world<br>Go on a diet girl<br><br>(chorus)<br><br>You bleached your hair just as white as you can<br>Now you look like the abominable snow man<br>I tell you come here and you say no way<br>`Cause you run out of breath and pass out half way<br>Around the way you ripped all your jeans<br>All the little kids use it for a trampoline<br>You wear a parachute for your biker shorts<br>While you`re chillin` in the restaurant eating foods of all sorts<br>Going to the movies getting stuck in the door<br>While the business men in suits are throwing up on the floor<br>Fake hair flappin`, both lips chappin`<br>You broke the toilet, it was bound to happen<br>We can go out and eat real well<br>I got a lot more fat jokes to tell<br>Lisa, Angela, get out of town<br>Before you get flattened, she`s big and round<br><br>(chorus)