If I Was Santa Claus

[Slug]<br>If I was a rich man, I`d buy you some shoes<br>Tall boots for all the dirt you walk through<br>What would that do? Enable you to deal<br>Without schooling you on how to touch what`s real<br>And if I was a smart man, I`d tell you everything that I knew<br>And give it to you every time you need a talking to<br>But what would that do? Teach you my guidelines<br>So you can be a cheerleader at your game on the sidelines<br>And if I was a driver, I`d keep my headlights on<br>To see the difference between right and wrong<br>I`d wear my seatbelt even when I`m in park<br>Cause I don`t trust the other fools that cruise through these parts<br>And if I was a better cook, I`d hook up a feast<br>Set a table full of food for the children to eat<br>I encourage the nourishment so we can breathe<br>With the knowledge that we got something accomplished<br><br>[Chorus]<br>And if I was Santa Claus, I`d fight for the cause<br>Wouldn`t expect nothing in return<br>I`d give you everything you want, I`d be everything you need<br>So you can take my hand and I can take the lead<br><br>And if I was an honest man<br>I would stop writing songs<br>I`d break for a nervous breakdown for breakfast<br>Tell everyone I knew to stay away from making music<br>It ain`t nothing but a confusing mess (confusing mess)<br>And if I was you, I wouldn`t hear a word I said<br>Wouldn`t trust nothing to start it up inside my head<br>I`d make a conscious effort to live instead<br>Of trying to kill the monsters that reside underneath the bed<br>And if I was a hurt man<br>I`d find a way to put my faith <br>Into a woman that could take me from today, maybe<br>I need somebody that could save me<br>From the parts of myself that keep making me crazy<br>And if I was a wise man<br>I`d climb to the top of the mountain peak<br>To think about strength versus weakness<br>I`d find a point that rests a couple of feet above your head<br>And figure out how I could try to help you reach it<br>(Ho ho ho)<br>And if I did have a choice<br>I`d never want to live forever<br>Just let me have a voice so I can make my points<br>I can`t imagine running a race with no finish line<br>Just let me keep my pace and make to most of my time<br>I love giving but I`m bad at receiving<br>The truth is, I`d prefer to be the one bleeding<br>But I`m a paranoid that stays between play and work<br>Cautious and aware, `cause I`m afraid of being hurt<br>Which brings me to the issue<br>And that would be this:<br>How often must I ask myself why I exist?<br>I feel like a freak, this world is a circus<br>Just trying to find myself as well as my purpose<br><br>[Chorus: repeat 2X]<br>And if I was Santa Claus, I`d fight for the cause<br>Wouldn`t expect nothing in return<br>I`d give you everything you want, I`d be everything you need<br>And you can take my hand and I can take the lead<br><br>I got nothing but gifts<br>Keep it up in my wits<br>Got me drunk on the fifth<br>And now we`re stuck in a ditch<br>And as dumb as it gets<br>I`mma run you some fibs<br>I wanna touch your lips<br>I wanna rub your hips<br>Put a glove on the fist<br>For the love that exists<br>We`ll keep bumping the hits<br>To get my bucket of chips<br>From the Bloods and the Crips<br>To the skateboarding chicks<br>Put the Atmosphere on your Christmas wishlist<br>Put the Atmosphere on your Christmas wishlist<br>(Ho ho ho ho)