Still The Door Slams Shut

Were you told to hold me when I’m like this? <br>I’d love to believe that it came from the heart, <br>and everything’s resolved with a winning smile, <br>Let everybody think you’re the same on the inside, <br>When my eyes look like a prince after time, <br>Do you still find me the most beautiful? <br>Did you ever anyway even before? <br>What do I need you to spell it out for? <br>Not in control of my emotions, thoughts are not my own, <br>I bit you today, but I’ll kiss it better tomorrow! <br>And I do want you to do it, <br>But there’s still a little chicken, dying to get out, <br>And I can’t always be fifty tonnes, <br>If I stop the process now, what of my dying at fifty dream? <br>If the cancer has already arrived then it intended to take its time, <br>But can I change fate? Can I? Like Ebenezer right the wrongs, <br>Only so that I’m licensed to die young… <br>Twenty-four hours, for seven, for fifty-two for sixty plus, <br>The initial attraction and glue, <br>Gonna have to find something more between us, <br>It’s a long time to be silent… <br>And I’m also aware that I expect too much, <br>How can you do what I want? I don’t know what I want you to do, <br>All I know right now is that I really fucking need you, <br>Yet black rain, grey rivers and red <br>Boxer-wounds and all the complication in my head, <br>Knowing that my fate is to crawl damp into bed, <br>Still the door slams shut. <br>Is she unstable, hysterical, alone? <br>Would it be wise now to be on my own? <br>Nothing would do for her home grown, <br>So if I make myself nothing… <br>But still the door slams shut.