Pimp Council

[Too $hort]<br>All rise...order in the court<br>The honourable judge muthafuckin` Too $hort<br>presidin` over Superior Players Court<br>The first case is the State vs. Fate Wilson A.K.A. Baby Flex<br>You bein` charged wit home invasion and hoe slaughter<br>For fuckin` another nigga`s bitch<br><br>[Lil` Fate]<br>Listen close to what I say<br>Dog, it might hurt ya<br>I be cuttin` ya girl while you be goin` to work bruh<br>When she first called my conscience was like, "Hell naw, Fate don`t"<br>But she said, "I`m only around the corner", and popped her lil` punt<br>Apartment 5-7-0-1, told her I was eatin` right now<br>Be over there when I get done<br>Got there, knocked on the door <br>She opened up the door half naked, lookin` exquisite<br>Ackin` mad `cuz I ain`t spoke to her since the last time a nigga hit it<br>She said, "Don`t worry forget it since we only have 30 minutes"<br>`Fore her man came home for lunch<br>So I bust my nut and raised up wit<br>Five mnutes to spare, her man unaware <br>I saw him in traffic, beeped the horn and threw a deuce in the air<br>Yea I`m a playa<br>But I feel guilty `bout cuttin` a broad<br>I need counselin` dog, `cuz it`s guilty as charged<br>Simply because I felt victim to lust and<br>Knowin` all the while it was my cousin girlfriend I had been fuckin` (Damn!)<br><br>[Too $hort]<br>The court finds you guitly as charged <br>Your sentence is PUI school<br>For pimpin` under the influence, nigga<br>Next case...<br>Oh we got us a repeat offender in the house<br>Jenny Jones A.K.A. Shanwnna<br>Same ol` charge...wanted in 8 states <br>What`s yo story this time?<br><br>[Shawnna]<br>Oh yes yo` honor I see we talkin` again<br>I have no representation now shall we begin<br>I know you seen my face before but...hold on my friend<br>It`s niggas gettin` away wit doin` the...same shit I did<br>I...can`t do no bid<br>I got a mortgage and my kids<br>In a forest by the bridge<br>And I drives a Rolls Royce in a porridge wit dem grills<br>So you undertand I was tryna pay me some bills<br>When I was flippin` outta state while I was takin` a chill<br>Shootin` deem and a couple friends, spend a couple ends<br>Took the top off of the drop and let the bubble spin<br>Niggas got off in my knot and let them troubles in<br>So I decided to put that shit in my own hands<br>None of these hoes can fuck me, only God judge me<br>That man told me he love me and he flash money<br>My only crime could just be livin` it filthy<br>So let me hear it on mo` time--not guilty<br><br>[Too $hort]<br>Bailiff, take her into custody<br><br>(Woman screaming)<br>Oh, not my baby!<br>Hell naw!<br><br>[Too $hort]<br>Next case...<br>State vs. Velvet Jones A.K.A. Ludacris<br>You bein` charged wit impeedin` how traffic<br>Spendin` too much time tryna fuck one hoe<br>How do you plead Mr. Jones?<br><br>[Ludacris]<br>Man I`m the pimp of all pimps and y`all comin` up short<br><br>[Too $hort]<br>Calm down before I hold yo ass contempt of court<br><br>[Ludacris]<br>Ya honor, just be cool, let me approach that bench<br>And sprinkle seasonin` on yo ears `bout how I choked that beeyotch!<br><br>[Too $hort]<br>Well did she promise you the pussy, mayn?<br><br>[Ludacris]<br>She ceratinly did<br>I got empty McDonald`s cups in my car and my crib<br>She owe me sumthin`, bitch betta show me sumthin`<br>Wrap her legs around my waist and start to throw me sumthin`<br>I`m simply the meanest, you lookin` at the stroke of a genius<br>The only verdict made should be the subpoena uh this penis<br>No objections or appeals, let`s cut us a deal<br>And I promise to tell the truth if my partner don`t squeal<br>She`s awfully cautious, said the jury makes her nautious<br>She said she said she`d suck my dick if I dropped the charges<br>Oh no! Time to make ya kidneys shift<br><br>[Too $hort]<br>But didn`t you fuck her best friend?<br><br>[Ludacris]<br>Oh, I plead the fifth<br><br>[Too $hort talking]<br>Yea, that sound like some shit you`ll say<br>Ol` pimp ass nigga<br>Due to lack of evidence, I`m droppin` the charges<br>Don`t let me see you in here again<br>Let this be a lesson learned <br>If you don`t know you player rules<br>You liable to violate the game and get sent away for a long, long time<br>Remember...never hate on a real player<br>It ain`t gon` get you nowhere, mayn<br>It`s a lotta hoes out there player so...<br>Ain`t no reason fot yuo to fuck ya best friend<br>Or ya cousin or ya brother`s girl<br>Get ya own bitch, mayn, you know what I`m sayin`?<br>You runnin` around here...<br>Violatin` major player rules<br>You `bout to get the muthafuckin` book thrown at yo bitch ass<br>Fuckin` `round in this court<br>You know what I`m sayin`? It`s all about the money baby<br>It it ain`t about the money...it ain`t about SHIT!!<br>To all you niggas runnin` `round here...<br>Corny than a motherfucker <br>Just tryna fuck a bitch `cuz you wanna get a nut off<br>Think about that money first, mayn--what is that bitch doin` for you?<br>What are you gettin` outta the situation?<br>Tryna give a bitch sumthin`<br>What you gon` give her sumthin` for--some pussy?!<br>It`s trickin`, mayn<br>Don`t be a BEEUTCH!<br>Be a real pimp, nigga<br>Make that hoe pay you for everythang you do<br>Everythang you do you gotta get money, mayn...all day, all night<br>I wouldn`t fuck a bitch for free<br>Just like I wouldn`t rap for free, motherfucker<br>Yea, you know my favorite word...BEEUTCH!!