Liar`s Bar

<br>Well sitting in a bar alone where no-one knows your name<br>Is like laying in a graveyard wide awake<br>You`re scared that if you cough or yawn, you might wake up the dead<br>So pretend to read a paper or just drink instead<br>I`m a stand-up comedian, but I`d sit down if I could<br>The world just seems to want folk like me to stand<br>And the punch-lines seem to disappear like clouds across the sky<br>And the laughter could be real or could be canned<br>Rum by the kettle drum<br>Whiskey by the jar<br>At Liars` Bar<br>Well living with a lying man could never really hurt<br>But living with a drunk, well no-one deserves<br>And you`re looking for your husband, you`re not sure he`s still alive<br>Don`t bother with the cemetery, he`ll be down at liar`s dive<br>I`m a travelling businessman, I just stopped in for one drink<br>You`ll find that I`m not like the other men<br>Their noses are red, whilst mine is only pink<br>And they didn`t choose their drink, their drink chose them<br>Rum by the kettle drum<br>Whiskey by the jar<br>At Liars` Bar<br>And the grave-digger`s smiling, at his reflection in his spade<br>He`s visiting the seediest, the shallowest of graves<br>The vocal chords of elephants, and the characters of mice<br>They`re singing "whisky, whisky", so good they named it twice<br>Well don`t pass buildings with lights on, if I said that I did I`d have lied<br>`Cause what looks like a Chinese restaurant, may have Chinese New Year inside<br>And son all my life I`ve been searching, the bars I`ve been in I forget<br>The lights outside ever brighter, but a light on the inside not yet<br>Rum by the kettle drum<br>Whiskey by the jar<br>At Liars` Bar<br>And he`s a world-wide traveller, he`s not like me or you<br>But he comes in mighty regular, for one who`s passing through<br>That one came in his work clothes, he`s missed his last bus home<br>He`s missed a hell of a lot of buses, for a man who wants to roam<br>If I look rough I am rough<br>If I look sad I am<br>If I look broke am I broke<br>Just a broke down piece of man<br>I`ve turned over enough leaves, to fill an autumn<br>and if I had one final wish<br>I`d be your slave for a decade, if you could take me away from this<br>If you took me away from this, I`d be different you`d see<br>`Cause I didn`t choose the drink, a drink just chose me<br>Rum by the kettle drum<br>Whiskey by the jar<br>At Liars` Bar<br>Well I`m smoking like a chimney<br>And I`m drinking like a fish<br>At Liars` Bar