Tommy

<br>I was talking to my friend Tommy, he`s almost 6.3 years old. I said, "Is it just me, or has<br>Power Rangers gone to shit this season?" and he shook his head and said, "I know." I<br>said, "That Turbo movie was stupid," and Tommy said, "I didn`t even go." And he said, "I<br>can`t keep track of the Zords." And he said, "I hardly even watch it anymore." I said, "I<br>think they lost when they all switched colors just for the hell of it," and Tommy said, "That<br>`White Ranger`s long-lost brother` theme didn`t seem relevant." I said, "It`s just like<br>Darkman--it started out fine but it sucked by the time they made Darkman III: Die Darkman<br>Die. Everything good turns to crap eventually," and that`s when Tommy said, "Isn`t that<br>just the way it is?" And Tommy said, "What happened to my friend Barney? Yesterday he<br>was a king, now he`s a dinosaur. And Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles just doesn`t hold my<br>interest anymore." I said, "Team Knight Rider was a letdown too." He said, "It`s true, but<br>not as disappointing as Secret Wars II." I<br>said, `It`s just the same as G.I. Joe. I recall he was one foot tall. He`d of stepped on Cobra<br>Commander and drop-kicked Destro." He said, "It`s just like the New Kids--I thought they<br>were cool but I felt like a fool when I found out Donnie Wahlberg was in graduate school." I<br>said, "Or consider Duran Duran since they got that other fella: they went from Seven and<br>the Ragged Tiger to Electric Barbarella. Tommy said, "Can you explain why nothing ever<br>stays the same? Adam, can you help me, man? Can you help me understand? Who,<br>what, where, when, how, and why? Is there a God? And who am I? And do you think<br>they`ll really remake the original Planet of the Apes?" I said, "don`t ask me, I`m only 28."<br>And it`s just like Tommy said, "Isn`t that just the way it is." That`s just the way it goes.<br>That`s just the way the cookie crumbles. That`s just the way the old ball bounces. Shit<br>happens. Isn`t it a shame? Isn`t it a crying shame? It`s a crying shame. Crap! Crap crap!<br>Crap, crap. It turns to crap. It turns to crap an<br>d it won`t turn back. Crap, crap. It turn to crap. C`mon everybody c`mon and do the crap<br>clap. Crap. Crap. It turns to crap. It turns to crap and it won`t turn back. Like Spinal Tap<br>and white boy rap and every singing family since the von Trapps. Crap: The Gap, the<br>Mercator map the movie Zapped! and the game Mousetrap. The clap? Crap! The guy from<br>Tap! Fiesta wraps and Rob Liefeld`s Cap. Everything good turns to crap. It turns to crap<br>and I don`t mean maybe, just like Galactica 1980. It turns to crap. Crap!