I`m So Glad I`m Not Married

<br>Written by Kevin Bacon <br> <br>&quot;We want this to become the `You`re So Vain` of the millennium.&quot; KB <br> <br>There`s a line around the block, and it stretches a mile <br>They`re gonna pay good money to see your dazzlin` smile <br>You got a come-hither look in your babydoll eyes <br>And you got the kind of body make a man tell lies <br>And when you`re standing next to me, you do the little things you do <br> <br>I say, I`m so glad I`m not married, so glad I`m not married <br>I`m so glad I`m not married, to you <br> <br>You`re the center of attention everywhere you go <br>Sittin` on the boys` laps puttin` on a show <br>You get your clothes and your shoes and your drugs for free <br>And God knows you`ve got a lot more money than me <br>When you`re bendin` over just to give us all a better view <br> <br>I say, I`m so glad I`m not married, so glad I`m not married <br>I`m so glad I`m not married, to you <br> <br>You introduce me to your guy and you say your love is true <br>Well he`s a better man than I, `cause he`s got to live with you <br>In the movie of your life, he is just an extra in it <br>But baby, if you were my wife <br>To have and hold, the truth be told <br>I couldn`t take it for a New York minute <br> <br>Now you`re crying `cause the paper printed something rude <br>You say you never, ever, ever, ever touched that dude <br>Well, it`s the National Enquirer it can`t be true <br>But I`m not so sure they got it wrong about you <br>You`re feeling kind of tragic and your eyes get misty-blue (boo-hoo!) <br> <br>I say, I`m so glad I`m not married, so glad I`m not married <br>I`m so glad I`m not married, to you