I Tripped Over The Ottoman

<br>They call me Robert Petrie and I live in New Rochelle<br>With my wife Laura and son Ritchie<br>But now my life`s a living hell cause...<br><br>I tripped over the ottoman<br>One too many times<br>I tripped over the ottoman<br>Until I lost my mind<br><br>I was head writer for Alan Brady<br>Maybe you`ve seen his show<br>It`s not very funny and it makes my ears bleed<br>This week`s guest star isn`t Danny Thomas<br>This week`s guest star is Death!<br><br>All day long I crank out one-liners<br>With Buddy, Sal and Mel<br>Once I laughed at Buddy`s jokes<br>But now my life`s a living hell cause...<br><br>I tripped over the ottoman<br>One too many times<br>I tripped over the ottoman<br>Until I lost my mind<br><br>Morey Amsterdam can make a sane man crazy<br>Morey Amsterdam could make a nice guy kill<br>(x2) and...<br><br>I tripped over the ottoman<br>One too many times<br>I tripped over the ottoman<br>Until I lost my mind<br><br>Come here Laura; come to me<br>I`ve been up all night listening to Ice-T albums<br>Now it`s time for you to get yours<br>Hello Mel! This is my friend, Mr. Chain Saw!<br>Hello Buddy! It`s time you die, like the pig you are<br>In the gutter, gasping for air<br>This is a hand grenade, Sal<br>A hand grenade!<br>Ya know what a hand grenade does?<br>It EXPLODES!<br><br>What did you bring me daddy? (x3)<br>Well, I brought you death!<br><br>Joe: All right!<br><br><br>6 + [untitled]<br><br>Take it, boys.<br><br>Yeah, my sister`s really movin` up in the world. She dates a full-blown<br>professor! Goes by the name of Professor Griff. He`s a great guy; he`s<br>a good ol` boy, that wild ol` Professor Griff. I think he`s a history<br>professor. The other day, he told me the wildest story about the<br>history of jewellery.<br><br>Anyway, come nightfall, we all love to sit on the porch, an` Sis plays<br>the banjo, I play the jug, an` Professor Griff breaks out his Jew`s<br>harp and just flails away. God, I love that guy!