One Thing Real

<br>I come down the steps<br>I slip on the ice<br>Santa Claus been lookin`<br>Who`s been naughty, who`s been nice<br>I`m lookin` for one thing real tonight<br>Jesus, he comes up to me, Jesus, he sits down<br>Says take this fuckin` cross off my back, I`m goin` downtown<br>I say aw, but ain`t that your uniform<br>He offers me a toke<br>Says 2000 years is long enough for this particular joke<br>He says I`m lookin` for one thing real tonight<br>I`m up here singin` these songs every night<br>Sometimes I wanna just make `em all up on the spot<br>Maybe they wouldn`t rhyme too good, they might not make sense<br>But then at least I wouldn`t be repeating myself<br>I`m lookin` for one thing real tonight<br>And you`re the one I`ve chosen<br>And I guess you`ve chosen me<br>Let`s turn off the commercials<br>Let`s turn off the TV<br>How well can we get to know<br>Each other in an hour<br>We can fight the daylight<br>We have that power<br>I`m lookin` for one thing real tonight<br>Van Gogh sits next to me, with a bucketful of paste<br>He rips off my ear and says glue this to my face<br>I`d like to leave America for someplace where they would<br>Not know a word of English and I might be understood<br>I`m lookin` for one thing real tonight