Otto Tittsling

<br>&quot;this next story is a true story. it concerns to of my favorite subjects: industrial theft . . . and-a t-ts! mmm, what a combo! this is the story . . . the inventor of the modern foundation<br><br>Ent that we women wear today was a german scientist and opera lover by the name of otto titsling! this is a true story. his name was otto titsling. what happened to otto titsling shouldnt happe<br><br>A schnauzer. its a very sad story. I feel I have to share it with you.&quot;<br><br><br><br>Otto titsling, inventor and crout,<br><br>Had nothing to get very worked up about.<br><br>His inventions were failures, his future seemed bleak.<br><br>He fled to the opera at least twice a week.<br><br><br><br>One night at the opera he saw an aida<br><br>Whos t-ts were so big they would often impede her.<br><br>Bug-eyed he watched her fall into the pit,<br><br>Done in by the weight of those terrible t-ts.<br><br><br><br>Oh, my god! there she blows!<br><br>Aerodynamically this bitch was a mess.<br><br>Otto eye-balled the diva lying comatose amongst the reeds,<br><br>And he suddenly felt the fire or inspiration<br><br>Flood his soul. he knew what he had to do!<br><br>He ran back to his workshop<br><br>Where he futzed and futzed and futzed.<br><br><br><br>For otto titsling had found his quest:<br><br>To lift and mold the female breast;<br><br>To point the small ones to the sky;<br><br>To keep the big ones high and dry!<br><br><br><br>Every night hed sweat and snort<br><br>Searching for the right support.<br><br>He tried some string and paper clips.<br><br>Hey! he even tried his own two lips!<br><br><br><br>Well, he stiched and he slaved<br><br>And he slaved and he stitched<br><br>Until finally one night, in the wee hours of morning,<br><br>Otto arose from his workbench triumphant.<br><br>Yes! he had invented the worlds first<br><br>Over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder. hooray!<br><br><br><br>Exhausted but ecstatic he ran<br><br>Down the street to the divas house<br><br>Bearing the prototype in his hot little hand.<br><br>Now, the diva did not want to try the darn thing on.<br><br>But, after many initial misgivings,<br><br>She finally did.<br><br>And the sigh of relief that issued forth<br><br>From the divas mouth<br><br>Was so loud that it was mistaken by some<br><br>To be the early onset of the seraken winds<br><br>Which would often roll through the schwarzwald<br><br>With a vengance!<br><br>Ahhhhh-i!<br><br><br><br>But little did otto know,<br><br>At the moment of his greatest triumph,<br><br>Lurking under the divas bed<br><br>Was none other than the very worst<br><br>Of the french patentees,<br><br>Phillip debrassiere.<br><br>And phil was watching the scene<br><br>With a great deal of interest!<br><br><br><br>Later that night, while our broom hilda slept,<br><br>Into the wardrobe phillip softly crept.<br><br>He fumbled through knickers and corsets galore,<br><br>til he found ottos titsling and he ran out the door.<br><br><br><br>Crying, &quot;oh, my god! what joy! what bliss!<br><br>Im gonna make me a million from this!<br><br>Every woman in the world will wanna buy one.<br><br>I can have all the goods manufactures in taiwan.&quot;<br><br><br><br>&quot;oh, thank you!&quot;<br><br><br><br>The result of this swindle is pointedly clear:<br><br>Do you buy a titsling or do you buy a brassiere?