Holding The Group Back

<br>Frank zappa (guitar, vocals)<br><br>Ian underwood (alto saxophone, piano)<br><br>Bunk gardner (tenor saxophone, clarinet)<br><br>Motorhead sherwood (baritone saxophone, tambourine)<br><br>Roy estrada (bass, vocals)<br><br>Don preston (electric piano)<br><br>Arthur tripp (drums, percussion)<br><br>Jimmy carl black (drums)<br><br>Members of the bbc symphony orchestra<br><br><br><br>(just a few weeks before this show, the pope had announced a ban on birth control pills (in spite of the persistent rumors that the vatican had major financial holdings in a swiss company that m<br><br>Ctured the little devils). to commemorate this, roy estrada strides on stage wearing a floor length chain-mail dress with enormous aluminum tits, and an ornate catholic ceremonial head-dress. he<br><br>Arrying a childs plastic sand bucket filled with smartys (the british equivalent of m&amp;ms). the inscription on the bucket reads no more ugly babies! while chanting in latin, he hurls fistfuls<br><br>Andy into the audience, in lieu of birth control pills.<br><br><br><br>He approaches ian in his robotically transformed state and begs for an audition as an opera singer with ians new group, claiming that he has to leave the mothers -- hes holding the group back b<br><br>E hes a mexican (he actually used to think this was true, and told me so on several occasions.)<br><br><br><br>Fz:<br><br>Then from out of the corner from the stage comes roy ralph estrada perturbed at the present situation within the mothers.<br><br><br><br>Roy estrada:<br><br>Domino domino vo-bisqu-u-u-um<br><br>Domino vo-bisqu-u-u-um<br><br>Amen<br><br>Domino vo-bisqum<br><br>Hallelujah<br><br>Et cum spiritu tuo<br><br>Ian, I dont think I qualify for the mothers<br><br><br><br><br><br>Fz:<br><br>Theyre making up their lines as they go along isnt it thrilling? <br><br><br><br>Ian:<br><br>Why, roy? <br><br><br><br>Roy:<br><br>Because I dont think Im qualified. I think Im holding the group back because Im a mexican, and also because I dont play bass good.<br><br><br><br>Ian:<br><br>I dont care how you can play bass but we have no mexicans in this group.<br><br><br><br>Roy:<br><br>And I wanna join your group.<br><br><br><br>Ian:<br><br>No mexicans!<br><br><br><br>Roy:<br><br>I can sing opera, I cut my hair, I got all my shit together here. I can do it.<br><br><br><br>Ian:<br><br>I dont care how you look you gotta be able to cut the part.<br><br><br><br>Roy:<br><br>I can sing, please, please, give me a chance.<br><br><br><br>Ian:<br><br>I dont believe you can sing.<br><br><br><br>Roy:<br><br>Please, please hear my plea, please ian please, I can do it, give me a chance. please, please. oh, oh, oh, please.<br><br><br><br>Ian:<br><br>Okay mexican, okay mexican, sing this note.<br><br><br><br>Roy:<br><br>You think everything is gonna be alright.<br><br><br><br>Ian:<br><br>Okay you passed the first part of the audition now you gotta sing. roy:<br><br>Mi, mi, mi, mi, mi