Bert And Ernie And The Fan

<br>Bert (writing a letter with a pencil): "Dear Mister Rogers, I wish you would send me ..." <br><br>Ernie (entering): Boy, it`s a hot one today, Bert! (Bert doesn`t answer) Bert? Oh, he`s writing a letter. I won`t bother him. (Louder) I won`t bother you, Bert! (Bert looks up, sighs, and continues writing) I`ll just get the electric fan and turn on some cool air. (Gets the fan and turns it on) Oh, there, that`s better. (Pause) If some cool air feels good, I`ll bet more cool air would feel even better. (Turns it on higher; it`s starting to get really breezy now!) Oh, the more air this fan blows, the cooler I feel. I bet if I turned it on all the way, it`d get really cool! (Does so, and papers start blowing around everywhere.) Oh, wow! <br><br>Bert: Ernie! The fan! Turn it off! <br><br>Ernie: What`s that, Bert? <br><br>Bert: Turn the fan off! <br><br>Ernie: I can`t hear you, Bert! <br><br>Bert: I said, TURN THE FAN OFF! <br><br>Ernie: TURN THE FAN OFF? <br><br>Bert: TURN THE FAN OFF! <br><br>Ernie: Oh, okay. (Turns it off) <br><br>Bert: Ernie ... <br><br>Ernie: Yes, Bert? <br><br>Bert: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I HAVE BEEN SITTING OVER THERE, TRYING TO WRITE A LETTER, AND ALL YOU DO IS BOTHER ME WITH THAT FAN! I AM SO HOT AND BOTHERED! <br><br>Ernie: You`re hot and bothered, Bert? <br><br>Bert: YES, I AM HOT AND BOTHERED! <br><br>Ernie: Oh, I have just the thing for someone who`s hot and bothered. <br><br>Bert: What`s that? <br><br>Ernie: Cool air, Bert! (Turns the fan on all the way. Papers blow around, and Bert starts yelling.)