Merry Christmas From The Family

<br>Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk at our Christmas party<br>We were drinking champagne punch and homemade eggnog<br>Little sister brought her new boyfriend<br>He was a Mexican<br>We didn`t know what to think of him until he sang<br>Felis Navidad, Felis Navidad<br><br>Brother Ken brought his kids with him<br>The three from his first wife Lynn<br>And the two identical twins from his second wife Mary Nell<br>Of course he brought his new wife Kay<br>Who talks all about AA<br>Chain smoking while the stereo plays Noel, Noel<br>The First Noel<br><br>Carve the Turkey<br>Turn the ball game on<br>Mix margaritas when the eggnog`s gone<br>Send somebody to the Quickpak Store<br>We need some ice and an extension chord<br>A can of bean dip and some Diet Rites<br>A box of tampons, Marlboro Lights<br>Haleluja everybody say Cheese<br>Merry Christmas from the family<br><br>Fred and Rita drove from Harlingen<br>I can`t remember how I`m kin to them<br>But when they tried to plug their motor home in<br>They blew our Christmas lights<br>Cousin David knew just what went wrong<br>So we all waited out on our front lawn<br>He threw a breaker and the lights came on<br>And we sang Silent Night, Oh Silent Night, Oh Holy Night<br><br>Carve the turkey turn the ball game on<br>Make Bloody Mary`s <br>Cause We All Want One!<br>Send somebody to the Stop `N Go<br>We need some celery and a can of fake snow<br>A bag of lemons and some Diet Sprites<br>A box of tampons, some Salem Lights<br>Haleluja, everybody say cheese<br>Merry Christmas from the Family