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Артист: Dane CookНазвание : Fireman & Policeman and Mini Putt Security GuardДанные: текст песни / слова песни Жанры : comedy stand-up funny stand-up comedy humor Видео:
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When I was a little kid I thought I wanted to be a fireman. I think a lot of guys- Did you wanna be a fireman when you were a little kid? People ask you..What do you want to be? I wanna be a FIREMAN! I didn`t really wanna be a fireman. I thought I did. I just really wanted to spray shit with a hose. That`s what I really wanted to do. I wanted to be like a spray-man. No I was fucking good. I`m not laughing. I was really good with the hose. I could make it look like if make it feel like it was raining. If you closed your eyes, you would think it was raining. That`s how good I was. You`d be like Oh my god it is really raining. It`s very cold rain. That`s how good I was and I`m not laughing. You`re laughing, i`m not laughing. I could not be a fire- If I go to a house and it was fully on fire. Fuck that! I quit. I would just stand outside and watch it burn with everybody else. And the woman next to me be like... Please my son, he`s screaming in there. I`d be like Well he`s probably on fire! That`s what happens when you`re on fire lady... What are you doing out here? You fucking think for yourselfer. Why didn`t you make a map for him or something? A policeman. I don`t know how they do that job man. What about those cops in New York. I just saw this on CNN a few days ago. In New York, these cops freaked out, they shot this guy like 15 times because they said they thought he had a grenade. He was eating a pear! How do you fuck that up?! Unless he was eating it like OOOOO (takes bite, throws pear) THAT`S A DELICIOUS PEAR! I had one uh job that was kinda cop-like. One summer I did uh security at a miniature golf course. Just standing out in the sun all day... Hey hey excuse me Sir get your putter out of the whale`s ass! Come one this is a place of miniature business. This is not a playground, even though it looks like a playground. | Похожие исполнители:
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